My Recovery Tools #3

Make use of everything at your disposal!

Hello and thank you very much for opening this latest blog. I hope that you will find it helpful whether you are struggling with addiction yourself or supporting someone with addiction.

I feel that I had my head so deeply buried in the sand until I was drowning at the bottom of a bottle that I was completely unaware of all of the different ways I could have accessed support and information about addiction and recovery. A lot has changed in the past ten years too and I am thrilled to discover how much support is out there if you look for it. If you are reading this that’s a great sign that you are working on helping yourself, or doing the research for someone you care about.

Over the past ten years I have utilised a number of tools for maintaining my sobriety. My advice to you would be to use as many different tools as you have access to! Make use of everything available to you! Try everything at least once! Then you take what works and leave the rest. You will know what works for you once you have found it. We are all different and as long as you stay sober, your recovery tools are doing the job! Don’t let anyone push you down a path that’s not right for you. But also, don’t dismiss anything until you’ve given it a fair go.

The number of available resources and support for people in addiction and recovery have exploded in recent years! The growth of awareness and acceptance of mental ill health has had a positive impact on addiction recovery awareness. There are so many different voices out there advocating for your recovery it’s almost overwhelming at times!

Here are just some of the options available to you in recovery:

Podcasts - The number of Podcasts discussing addiction and sobriety is huge! You simply need to search for ‘sobriety’, ‘sober’, ‘alcoholism’ etc. and you have a huge selection of options to choose from. Try listening to different Podcasts and find some that you feel speak to you. Some Podcasts are educational or advice focussed, some are based on guests sharing their recovery stories, while others are readings from AA literature.

Books and Websites - Like with podcasts, this field of literature has really mushroomed in the past decade, and you can easily search online for websites and publications that address the specific aspect of addiction and recovery that you wish to learn more about.

Social Media and online forums - This is by far the most accessible form of support, assuming you have a phone and an internet connection! There are private support groups on Facebook, there are multiple sober-living and addiction recovery accounts on Instagram, and I’ve just joined Twitter where I have found an incredible amount of support from the Twitter #recoveryposse. These online sources of support are non-judgmental safe spaces where you can remain anonymous if you like. If you find people rude, block them, or leave the group or conversation.

Meetings - Attending meetings has been proven to reduce relapse rates. It works because you feel accepted by a group of people who understand and support you and keep you accountable. There are a number of different meeting formats out there. I attended AA in person and while I didn’t feel comfortable with the use of the word God or the idea of a ‘Higher Power’, that did not stop me from benefitting hugely from AA and all that it teaches. It’s not just alcoholics taking about being alcoholics! AA taught me so many life skills and coping mechanisms I never had before, and I learnt so much about myself through attending those meetings. All types of meetings are now also offered online so you can attend without leaving the comfort of your home! This certainly makes the logistics of attending a lot easier for a lot of people. AA and other non-secular meetings are not the only meetings you could attend. There are plenty of secular and non-twelve-step options too. A quick google brings up a lot of different options, the most common being:

1. SMART Recovery: Smart Management and Recovery Training focuses on empowering the individual to sustain recovery. 

2. LifeRing: This secular group provides a healthy network of peers focused on remaining abstinent from drugs and alcohol.

3. Women for Sobriety (WFS): This nonprofit, abstinence-based program is made up of women supporting each other in recovery.

4. SOS. (Secular Organizations for Sobriety): This nonprofit network is made up of secular recovery-based groups.

You can find more details about these meetings, and all the other options out there online.

Recovery and Addiction centres - most towns and cities have a centre devoted to helping members of the community become free of addiction to drugs and/or alcohol. These are often charitable organisations or led by local government in tandem with the public health service. The privately run versions are often called ‘rehab’ and can be very expensive. When I was trying to stop drinking, I was a client at Lifeline in my hometown, which offered an integrative drug and alcohol service comprising both psychosocial and clinical interventions. I had appointments with a recovery worker who I met at the centre and who I spoke with about my addiction and attempts at sobriety. This was a free service and the recovery workers and clinical staff worked incredibly hard helping drug addicts and alcoholics alike. Once I had a few months sobriety under my belt, I applied to work at this same centre and was employed as the administrator for the service for almost a year.

Sober Coaching - a number of people now choose to work one-on-one with a Sobriety Coach. Most sober coaches are people who have been through addiction and recovery themselves and are using their experience to help others. The best sober coaches will have addiction treatment qualifications in order to provide a safe and effective service to their clients. Make sure you shop around and do background checks on the coaches you think you would like to work with. While they are most likely to be genuinely caring and honest people, if they say something that sets alarm bells ringing, listen to your gut and speak to someone else about this before proceeding any further. As these services are not free, and you are in an emotionally vulnerable position as a newly sober alcoholic, you need to feel completely comfortable with your Sober Coach and the advice they are giving you.

Group or private therapy - Once you have stopped drinking alcohol you are likely to realise that your reason for drinking needs addressing. Quite often this may be a serious traumatic event in your past and you may well benefit from seeing a therapist. You may also be dealing with other issues such as drug abuse, an eating disorder, gambling or other addictions such sex or shopping, or you may have depression, anxiety or another as yet undiagnosed mental health illnesses. Therapy can be extremely beneficial in helping you recover from the trauma that is having been an addict if nothing else. The idea that you may have all this baggage that you need to work through might sound scary but using alcohol to cope is an oxymoron and now you are sober you can start your healing journey.

Al-Anon and Alateen - these are meetings for family and friends of alcoholics who have been impacted by someone else’s drinking. At these meetings, participants learn about the disease of alcoholism, and how it affects behaviours in family members. Whether the alcoholic is still drinking or not, Al-Anon and Alateen offer hope and recovery to people affected by the alcoholism of a relative or friend. You may wish to suggest these meetings to your family and friends as they will have a lot they need to work through once you have stopped drinking too. The more the people in your life understand about alcoholism, the more support than can provide you.

Medication - I am not a doctor and I am not diagnosing anyone or prescribing anything, however, I have been on medication for anxiety and depression since I got sober, and I truly believe that it has had a positive impact on my mental health and my life. I was initially resistant to being prescribed medication for my mental health but was convinced by my husband who reasoned that if there was something wrong my kidneys, or my heart, I wouldn’t have a problem with taking medication to heal them, so why should taking medication for my brain be any different? If you feel depressed or are concerned that you have an undiagnosed mental health illness you should definitely speak with your GP. You should be honest with them about your alcohol abuse too. Anything you tell them is entirely confidential. A doctor will assess you properly before making any decisions about prescribing medication to you. They may even refer to you to a mental health professional for assessment and/or regular therapy sessions. Therapy can be used instead of medication or in tandem with medication. The professionals will be able to advise what the best option is for you.

Exercise, nutrition, sleep and rest - Exercise has been a non-negotiable for me throughout my sobriety. It is essential for good mental health to move your body! Don’t freak out, you don’t need to enter the CrossFit Games, you just need to get moving! If you are new to exercise, start with walking. It’s better for you to walk at a fast pace (as if you are rushing like you are running late) for a shorter amount of time, than it is to walk slower but for longer. The key to exercise is to find something that you enjoy and that is convenient for you. There are so many different options out there! Equally, eating nutrient dense, healthy food helps support good mental health, while highly processed foods can leave you feeling sluggish and foggy. Make sure you get enough sleep and also allow time for rest. Make the time to put your feet up or a do a gentle activity that encourages you to truly relax. Switching off and soothing your nervous system is a great way to show yourself kindness in recovery.

Keep busy at times when you would previously drink - try and avoid being unoccupied at the time of day or week that you would usually have an alcoholic drink. If you used to drink at a certain time of day, make sure you are doing something else at this time! Anything else! Attend a meeting, call a friend, make plans to go to the movies or for a coffee, join a fitness class or a book club, or find a new hobby. Make these plans in advance and stick to them! Even if you don’t get excited about what you have planned, it’s better than the alternative! Keep your mind busy and if you find your mind wandering towards thoughts of drinking, recognise that thought and then politely tell it where it can stick it!

I hope that you will have a come across a number of suggestions that you think you can put to use to support your recovery journey. You can add in as many of these options as you like but make sure you don’t get overwhelmed or exhausted with it all.

Try and remember that the more you do to support your mental health, the less likely you are to reach for a drink.

Equally, the more support you ask for and accept, the more you will be surrounded with people who only want to see you succeed in your sobriety and will go to any lengths to help you achieve this. The recovery community really does have a collective heart of gold.

The more you learn about the disease of addiction, and the more stories you hear or read about others who have overcome their addiction, the more you will find hope and inspiration that you too can beat this disease and live the life you deserve!

Being an addict is truly terrifying. Admitting that you need help and asking for help is the bravest thing you can do. Achieving and maintaining sobriety is hard work. But remember, so many people have beaten their addiction and are living happy, sober lives. You can learn from all of our experiences. This is why we share. So that you can take what works and leave the rest. So that you can live a happy sober life too. The hard work is worth it, and so are you. Be kind to yourself and never, ever, give up hope. We do recover.

Thank you for reading My Secret Sobriety. Kate xox