Can you control how much you drink?

Let my story empower you.

Are you worried that you cannot control how much alcohol you drink? That you cannot resist ‘just one’ and that you always end up drinking more than you intend to? That your ‘willpower’ is never quite strong enough when it comes to booze?

You may, or may not, be relieved to learn that there is scientific reason behind your inability to curb your alcohol consumption.

Alcohol is a highly addictive substance. It’s legal, easily accessible, deeply embedded in western culture, and highly addictive. If you are worried that you cannot regulate your drinking, this is a very common concern. You are not alone. Please keep reading.

Of course, not everyone who drinks alcohol develops a problem or addiction. Many people can ‘enjoy responsibly’ as per the advertisers’ advice. Everybody’s brains respond differently to alcohol and some people can drink without the addictive properties of alcohol having a significant impact on them.

But I do speak from experience when I say that alcoholism is a progressive disease and that a bad habit left unchecked can easily become an addiction.

I began binge drinking at a young age and first realised that I had a serious alcohol abuse problem at the age of nineteen. I became aware that I could not drink alcohol ‘normally’ in that I could not control when, or how much, I drank. Before that, drinking was fun. I was blissfully unaware that alcohol was significantly altering my young brain’s chemistry and functioning during my years of heavy drinking as a teenager.

Alcohol is addictive because of the way it changes your brain’s chemistry and functioning. Consuming alcohol triggers our brains to release dopamine and endorphins which are responsible for making us feel pleasure, and for reducing pain and stress. That’s why these chemicals are known as our ‘happy hormones’. Essentially our brains are rewarding us for drinking alcohol by making us feel good. Regular drinking progressively alters the reward and pleasure centre in our brains leading us to crave more alcohol. The chemicals in alcohol that make it addictive are so powerful that with long-term use, our brains learn to prioritise alcohol consumption over essential survival functions such as sleeping, eating, having sex, and human connection. These significant neurological changes are the reason why you cannot resist alcohol, even when you really try! Now you know, you can stop berating yourself for struggling to cut down on your drinking. There’s a biological and scientific reason; it is not your fault. Now you are aware that every time you drink you are reinforcing the neurological pathway that leads to addiction, you might seriously reconsider that next drink.

By the age of nineteen my drinking had intensified, and I became both psychologically and physically addicted to alcohol. It was terrifying. I told no-one. Through sheer desperation I managed to gradually reduce my intake and sober up. I had been living overseas and when the time came to return home to face friends and family, I couldn’t go back a drunk. It was embarrassment and shame that led me to dry out, but mostly the fear that if my alcoholism was discovered, I would have to admit to having a problem and be told I could never drink again. That’s the insanity of the disease; that the ‘nightmare’ of a future without alcohol gave me the strength to withdraw from a level of severe physical addiction to that of ‘social drinker’.

Despite this experience I did not quit drinking. I really convinced myself that I had my drinking under control and could be a social drinker. Most weekends in my twenties I drank heavily in spite of my previous experience of alcoholism. There were times when I was petrified that my drinking would descend into addiction again, followed by periods of reduced alcohol consumption. Looking back, I can see that my alcohol addiction was quietly gaining strength with every drink I had. By my early thirties I once again became consumed by alcohol addiction. I needed serious help and finally got sober after undergoing a medically assisted detox in hospital.

Let my story empower you.

I wish I had been aware enough and brave enough to admit that I had a problem with alcohol before I hit rock bottom. If you are concerned about how much you are drinking, please speak to someone you trust. If you have a feeling that you may have a problematic relationship with alcohol, you are probably right. You might compare your level of drinking to mine and think yours is not that bad. You may well be right. Your drinking is not that bad - yet. You may have heard the saying that if your drinking is costing you more than money then you have a problem. You don’t need to wait for your habit to negatively impact more than your bank balance. That gut feeling that you have, listen to it, it’s right. Alcohol is addictive and addiction is a progressive disease. Don’t wait for the catastrophe like I did. If you can stop now, stop now. Seek professional help if you need to.

It is scary as hell, but you will never regret taking steps to seriously reduce your alcohol intake or stop drinking completely. It was the best thing I ever did, and I am healthier, happier, and free to be me because of it.

Thank you for reading My Secret Sobriety. I pour my heart into these blogs and hope that my words will make a difference to someone out there. If I help one person change their trajectory, it will be worth it. Kate xox