It was the worst and the best thing that happened to me.
Recovery leads you places beyond your wildest dreams.
If you read my previous posts and felt sorry for me, don’t. I’m not looking for pity or sympathy. I’m sharing my story in the hope that my words may resonate with you and help you change your story too.
I may have walked through hell but what I found when I came out the other side was something else. Being a chronic alcoholic was the worst thing that ever happened to me. Getting sober and building a life without alcohol was the best thing that ever happened to me. I would not be the person I am now, and there is no way I would have the marriage, the lifestyle and the career I have, if I had not developed and beaten addiction. I know this to be true.
Ten years ago, I was hitting what I thought was rock bottom on a regular basis. My alcohol addiction had ruined my life. I was broke, broken and scared to death. I felt helpless and hopeless and defeated. My addiction was so dark I didn’t want to live but I also didn’t want to die. Most people don’t come back from that. I am so unbelievably lucky that I did and that I am here to tell you that you can beat this disease too.
Reflecting now in 2023 I can honestly say that my life is incredible! Since I got sober, my husband and I forged a new life for ourselves in a place we call paradise. Mike owns his own business, I bought and sold a business, and we bought a house together with, get this, a swimming pool in the garden! Since I sold my business at the end of 2022, I have had the luxury of slowing down completely and not worrying about going back to work. I know how few people get this opportunity and how privileged I am to be able to do this. Over the past (almost) ten years, I have achieved and experienced so much more than I ever thought was possible. Sobriety changes everything. Alcoholism was hideous, but it was worth it.
Being a fully functioning sober adult opened up so many opportunities for me. Because I was sober, these were ventures that I believed I could take on. Previously, I would have instantly dismissed these chances as too challenging for me to even attempt. I would not have had the confidence required to try.
In 2014, My husband and I moved from the UK to the Sunshine Coast on the East Coast of Australia, and I pursued a career as a Personal Trainer. I worked in hospitality while building my PT business and running a variety of group fitness classes around town. Less than two years later I had built a great reputation as a trainer and had bought a small franchise gym. I worked extremely hard as the owner-operator of that small business. I had found my calling! My club became one of the top performing clubs within the Franchise. I was nominated for and won several internal awards, the most special one being the “Franchisees’ Choice Award”, voted for by my peers. The most prestigious award I won was the Franchise Council of Australia Single Unit Franchise of the Year 2019 award. There I was, six years sober and three years in to running my first business, a successful and celebrated businesswoman! I have to admit that getting up on stage to accept that award in front of hundreds of businesspeople, I very nearly pooped my pants I was so nervous! I’m pretty sure everyone noticed too!
The relationship I have with my husband is stronger because of what we went through together. I don’t know how Mike found the strength to do it, but he stood by me, and he did everything in his power to help me recover. My recovery, and Mike’s hand in it, brought us closer together. We are best friends, we communicate effectively, we are both fully committed to our marriage, and our life together is better because we faced this down together.
From a young age I had zero confidence. Once I got sober, I slowly but surely began to believe in myself. I started taking medication for anxiety and depression which definitely helped, but removing alcohol, the great anxiety and depression amplifier, was key. I’ve changed from someone who can’t speak one word to a room full of classmates to the kind of person who can confidently and competently command the attention of a gym full of strangers. Amazing, right?! Drinking exacerbates symptoms of anxiety and depression, so it makes sense that the longer you go without alcohol and the more life you ‘do’ without alcohol, the less anxiety you will feel in general.
Sober me also discovered something called self-worth. I no longer let bullies push me around or let people take advantage of me. I finally learned how to stand up for myself. I had not clawed my way back from the depths of addiction to let other people treat me like shit. So, when they did, and said goodbye and I walked. Walking away from bad situations opened doors that I wouldn’t have even seen had I stayed.
Dealing with alcoholism and getting sober helped me see the bigger picture. I stopped sweating the small stuff. As a product of our times, I used to be preoccupied with my weight and body image. Now I see a lot of my old hang ups as incredibly superficial. I have cellulite. I have stretchmarks. I don’t have the latest fashion in my wardrobe, and I could definitely learn a thing or two about hair and make-up. But you know what? I don’t care enough about that stuff anymore. I’m alive. I’m sober. I’m happy with my lot. I also don’t care about materialist or financial ambitions. If you can’t be happy with what you have got now, what makes you think you’ll be happy with more?
Having been through the wringer myself brought forth my empathy for others. Knowing that they had no idea what I had been through highlighted to me that I had no idea what they had been through. The more I learn about people, the less people I meet who’ve had an easy life. I’m proud that I was able to use that understanding in my work helping people take daunting steps towards a new healthier lifestyle. I know that my compassionate approach really improved my clients’ experiences.
Facing down a disease like alcoholism makes you so grateful for the life you have. At some point in your first year of sobriety you will probably find yourself on a pink fluffy cloud, wearing rose tinted glasses and feeling so much love for your amazing life! Sadly, this feeling doesn’t last forever but getting sober, staying sober, and counting your lucky stars every single day does last! You will still have bad days and some days the gratitude doesn’t come easy, but the sober life is emphatically better than the alternative.
I am immeasurably proud that I overcame addiction and all I have become and all I have achieved since getting sober. The contrast between who I was in February 2013 and who I am now in February 2023 is phenomenal. If any version of pre-sobriety me had been given an inkling of what lay ahead of me in an alcohol-free life, I would never have believed it. While in active addiction, you cannot even begin to conceive of what your life will look like in sobriety. Consider the transformation I went through and allow yourself to dream and hope. Imagine what you could do if you put down the bottle. You don’t need alcohol, you really don’t. Alcohol is holding you back and shrinking your parameters. You can do life without it. You can stop. It will be hard, but it will be worth it. Minute by minute, hour by hour, one step at a time, getting sober will propel you into a life beyond your wildest dreams.
Please don’t give up hope. We do recover.
I look forward to one day hearing your recovery story.
Thank you for reading My Secret Sobriety.
Kate xoxox