Addiction does not discriminate.

Stereotyping the alcoholic helps no-one.

What comes to mind when you hear or see the word alcoholic?

An unwashed homeless person drinking out of a brown paper bag?

Or a glamorous celebrity making the news when they check in to rehab?

It’s these polar opposites that tend to be the mainstream go-to stereotypes of alcoholics. Perhaps you have another idea about what an alcoholic looks like. Maybe the social drop out or someone from a lower socio-economic background? Or the spoilt rich kid who parties too hard?

Be honest now; do you have a set of ideas about what constitutes an alcoholic? What do they look like? If you were asked to compare how you felt about the homeless alcoholic and the Hollywood alcoholic, would they elicit different emotions? Is one better or worse than the other? If so, why?

The truth is, alcoholism and addiction can effect ANYONE. That’s what’s meant by addition does not discriminate. There is no one ‘type’ of person that becomes an addict.

Alcoholics come from all walks of life, all backgrounds and all cultures. Alcoholics represent a hugely diverse cross section of society. Alcoholics come from any social class, any faith or religion, any ethnic groups, any sexuality or identity and any level of education. Addicts have a wide range of life experiences and may have been brought up in loving, supportive homes, or may have had far less stability in their home life or worse. The point I am trying to hammer home is that you cannot ascribe alcohol addiction to any type of person. Stereotyping and judging alcoholics is unhelpful and inaccurate. You’d be surprised how many ‘normal’ people you know struggle with alcohol dependency.

While the lives and backgrounds of alcoholics can be extremely diverse, their experiences of alcohol dependency and the amount they drink, as well as how often they drink, and their reasons for drinking, can also be hugely different depending on the individual. There are so many variables in each story.

For example, a woman I met in AA spoke of her despair as she shared her inability to stop drinking wine every evening. This woman had a successful career, a nice house, a loving family but come the end of the day, she couldn’t not open and consume that wine. Her drinking wasn’t having an adverse impact on her life, but she knew she had a problem with alcohol dependency. Compare that story with that of the man who’s wife was also a chronic alcoholic. They had no furniture left in their house and used old sheets for curtains. Then there’s the people who don’t crave drink most of the time, but when they do go out for a drink they just couldn’t stop and it would be anyone’s guess where they would end up at the end of the night or the next day. Some alcoholics go on week long benders between sober stints, some drink every night and white-knuckle the day time hangovers, while others are hair-of-the-dog drinkers and may never be one-hundred per cent sober but still manage to function in the eyes of society. I’m sure there are a thousand more examples I’ve missed but you get the idea.

People drink alcohol for so many different reasons too. If you drink, why do you drink? Isn’t it interesting that because alcohol consumption is so deeply embedded in western culture, that ‘why don’t you drink?’ is the more commonly asked question. That alcohol is the only addictive substance that you have to justify not using. Some people drink because they enjoy it and it’s fun. That’s cool. Some people enjoy a nice wine chosen to complement a delicious meal. Some people use alcohol to de-stress or ‘take the edge off’ after a tough day. Others drink out of boredom or because they are being sociable. Often, people drink out of habit. Some people use alcohol to hide their shyness or for ‘Dutch courage’. Others drink because they don’t want to feel anything, they want to feel numb.

I don’t have a problem with other people drinking alcohol. I’m lucky that being around people drinking doesn’t trigger me or risk my sobriety in anyway.

My point is that you can’t generalise about the type of person that becomes an alcoholic. You can’t box us in under any heading or stereotype. Alcoholics are all the people you see every day. You have no idea what is going on behind the scenes. So, be kind and reserve judgement. Especially if the person you are judging is yourself. If you are struggling with alcohol addiction and are reading this, you are not a bad person, or a weak person, or a certain ‘type’ of person. It is not your fault but you do need to ask for help.

The more understanding and compassion society has for people afflicted by alcohol addiction, the more likely it is that addicts will speak up and admit their problem and ask for help. The shame associated with being an alcoholic and the fear

of judgement from others can act as a major deterrent for those who desperately need help. The less stigma there is, the less people will unduly suffer or die from addiction.

Thank you for reading My Secret Sobriety.

Kate xox